It was almost mid-day when the halflings Cerno Proudfoot and plump Clem led an
old mule over a small hill and saw in the distance the walls of Averton.
"Well Master Cerno, we made good time this morning, and with a little luck, we'll
be back at the Brambleberry in time for dinner. I heard that tonight, Rosie is
roastin' a few game hens..." Clem licked his chops and paused for a moment to
imagine a roasted hen smothered in Ms. Rosie's 11 secret herbs and spices.
Cerno smiled and thought how nice it was to travel with Clem, who was so full of
stories. Clem had even put a few to music, playing on the Starbuck Harp which he
carried everywhere. Many of Clem's stories and songs were about Cerno's
grandfather, old Journeyman Bobble. Clem had worked for the Brambleberry Inn and
the Proudfoot family for many years, since the days before old Journeyman Bobble
had disappeared suddenly and mysteriously.
The two halflings led the mule down the hill and onto a dusty road that led
towards the town gates.
"Clem? Tell me about the time Grandpa Bobble located Mr. Greenleaf on his
wedding day when he was hiding in the storm cellar, and..."
"Sir, if I've told that story once, I've told it fifty times."
"Aw, but Clem, I want to know how he did it! I'm sure you know." Cerno pleaded.
Clem smiled slyly. "Well sir, ol' Journeyman Bobble always said that if I ever
revealed any of his secrets, he would turn me into a vermine!" he said as he
ruffled young Cerno's hair. In fact, Clem had no idea how Journeyman Bobble
performed most of his mystic tricks.
Feigning anger, Cerno said "When I become a Mystic, I'll turn you into a vermine
myself for keeping so many secrets."
Clem chuckled and started to play the Ballad of Bobble's Golem on his harp. When
he had finished, young Cerno clapped and then asked in a serious tone, "Was
Grandpa Bobble ever able to animate the golem?"
Clem thought for a moment and said "Truth is, I never saw it so much as wiggle a
big toe... but I heard plenty of stories, sir, and that's all I'm gonna say about
that... that... thing."
These days, the golem that Bobble built is known as Bobble's Folly by the
halflings living near the Brambleberry Inn. "That new errand boy is about as
useful as Bobble's Folly" you might hear one of them say... but back in Bobble's
day the golem was discussed in hushed whispers with a mixture of skepticism and
fear. Most folk thought it was just a story to keep the children away from
Bobble's workroom in the basement of the Brambleberry Inn.
"You know what I think..." Cerno said thoughtfully as they reached the outskirts
of Averton. "I think the reason Grandpa Bobble left was to seek a spell to
animate the golem."
Clem just smiled and nodded. "That sounds as good as any reason I've ever heard,
Master Cerno."
After old Bobble's mysterious disappearance, the lifeless golem had become quite
a tourist draw for the Brambleberry. The Proudfoots cleared an entire room and
charged 10 copper pieces to see it. One time a real Sylvan from somewhere
unpronounceable came to have a look at the giant wood, clay, and stone
contraption. Oh Mai, the Proudfoots ate well in those days! Eventually, after
the ropes began to fray, and the joints break, and the visitors tended to laugh
instead of be awed, the lifeless golem was banished back to the locked workroom
along with the rest of Bobble's follies.
Cerno and Clem finally reached the gate to the inner city and greeted the guards
standing up on the wall. "Hullo! We have but a few tidbits to trade at market
today, and will soon be on our way."
"Greetings good halflings! The wee folk are always welcome in our fair city"
one of the guards called back.
As Cerno and Clem made their way through the narrow streets and into the town
square, Clem started reading the list of chores to Cerno. "Now then, we need to
get at least 5 coins for those eggs if we will have enough to buy a good flask of
wine. If we can just get 3 coins for the goats milk..." and Clem looked up to
find that Cerno was gone.
Finding a halfling in a crowd of humans can be impossible, but Clem soon found
Cerno perched precariously on the back of the mule trying to see something. Clem
rushed over and said "You come down from there! You'll break your neck, and your
mum will break mine!" but Cerno shushed him and said "Clem, look! A Mystic!"
Two stocky farmers offered to let Cerno and Clem sit on their shoulders in order
to get a better view, and from that vantage Clem could see a tall man with dark
hair in the center of the crowd holding a long staff. Behind the man was a cart
with "The Amazing Bazzle!" painted in large letters on the side. There was quite
a buzz going through the crowd, but not because of the Amazing Bazzle, but
because of Bazzle's body guard, a Zo. Zos were uncommon in those parts, but this
Zo in particular had a great hulking body. Clearly none of the townsfolk had
seen anything like him before.
Holding high a small vial of liquid, the Amazing Bazzle said in a loud voice
"Friends, I am holding in my hands the mysterious Elixir of the Zos. Every
morning, Zo mothers make their children drink this very Elixir, and my companion
Hunga here is a testament to its incredible effects!" Bazzle pointed to the Zo.
"This Elixir is made from the oil of a Deadly Adder, powder from the scales of a
Great Rock, and many other secret ingredients found only in the Zo homelands. It
will add strength to a frail body and flexibility to stiff joints. It will heal
any ailment, great or small! And it really, really works."
They watched as the Amazing Bazzle pointed his staff at an old man sitting near
the front. The crowd laughed when the old man was called up to stand next to
Bazzle... the human who was holding up Cerno laughed as well and said, "Isn't
that old Ewan!? He has more aches and pains than one of the Emperor's special
guests!"
When the laughing had died down, the Amazing Bazzle handed the small vial of
liquid to the old man. Immediately upon drinking the contents, a smile formed on
his wrinkled face and he began doing a jig to the great delight of the crowd.
Cerno noticed a change in the man's appearance in a flash, and swore he could see
sparkles dancing around the man's body.
Soon the show was over and a small crowd had gathered around the cart where
Bazzle and Hunga the Zo were selling the vials. Clem pleaded with Cerno to leave
the Mystic be and to finish their chores, but Cerno was not about to be
distracted from meeting a real Mystic.
After the crowd had cleared and as the Mystic and his companion were busy packing
up the cart, Cerno approached. "Excuse me Mr. Bazzle. My name is Cerno
Proudfoot, and over there playing the harp is my companion Clem Strongtoe."
"Well met, good sir! I am known as Bom Bazzle, and my Zo friend is called Hunga
Dunga. Please excuse us but we are in a bit of a hurry at the moment."
"I understand sir, but if I could just ask you something... do you know anything
about animating a golem?"
"A golem you say? Why this is your lucky day, for I used to travel with the
great Mystic Akbar, the very same Mystic who composed Akbar's Animation. I'm
sure you've heard of that spell."
"Why of course, Akbar's Animation..." Cerno lied. He had only heard of a few
famous Mystics, but this Akbar sounded very powerful. "Mr. Bazzle sir, could
you, I mean, if it wouldn't be too much trouble..."
"... teach you Akbar's Animation?" Bazzle finished raising an eyebrow. "Well
lad, that is a very valuable spell... what do you have to trade for such
knowledge?" Cerno pointed to the mule and said, "Well, we have 2 dozen fresh
eggs, 2 quarts of the finest goats milk, some loaves of freshly baked bread, and
about 10 coins."
"I see... I tell you what I'll do. I'll teach you Akbar's Animation in exchange
for the mule and your fine products."
"Done!" cried Cerno in delight.
"Now then, who will be casting the spell?" asked Bazzle.
"Why, I had planned on casting it myself." Cerno replied.
"And I suppose you've had no Mystic training..."
"Well, my Grandfather was a Journeyman, but, um, you are correct, no actual
training." said Cerno sheepishly.
"In that case, you will need some artifacts from great Mystics. However,
artifacts will cost you dearer than an old mule and some food stuffs. What else
have you?"
"Nothing sir, but if I had those artifacts now, I would soon be rich, and I could
send you as much money as you desire then."
"Insolence! For that I should cause a second set of buttocks to start growing on
your forehead." Bazzle glared down at young Cerno. "However, there may be
something of value you could trade for the artifacts... the notes from your
friend's harp over there are very pleasing to my ear."
Clem, who had been busy practicing a new tune, looked up and noticed both Bazzle
and Cerno gazing in his direction.
"Mr. Strongtoe? Please bring that lovely harp over here for me to have a look
at." said Bazzle.
"Oh no, not the harp. Please kind sirs, I beg you, not the harp."
After some pleading on Cerno's part, the Amazing Bazzle had the fine Starbuck
Harp packed safely on his cart and started to dig through an old trunk for the
artifacts that would allow Cerno to cast Akbar's Animation.
"First and foremost, this!" Bazzle exclaimed as he produced an old red fez with
a gold tassel at the top. "The fez of the great Mystic Akbar!" Bazzle placed it
on Cerno's head, and it slid down over his eyes. It would have covered his head
completely if his nose had not stopped it.
"Next..." Bazzle dug once more into the trunk and produced a piece of cloth of
rough fabric with green and yellow patterns. "Deep in the southern lands, they
wear these cloaks called ponchos." Bazzle placed the poncho over Cerno's fez and
it hung down to his feet, looking more like a dress than a poncho. "Down there,
the Mystics are known as Seers."
Pushing the fez back over his eyes, Cerno looked at the garment and sounded
deeply impressed. "Wow. A real Seer's Poncho."
"Next, a wand for you." Bazzle pulled a solid black wand with white tips from
his trunk. "This wand was used by the stunningly beautiful Mystic Kati from the
Aisle of Green. The Wand of Sagnuesen." Bazzle rolled up the poncho to reveal
Cerno's right hand and placed the wand in it.
"To complete your wardrobe, a pair of magic boots." Bazzle reached far at the
bottom of the trunk and pulled out a pair of boots covered in silver sparkles
with enormous heels. "These boots were worn by the Mystic Collins, who was the
foundation of the council known as the Mystic Parliament." Cerno grew almost a
foot after putting on the Boots of Collins.
Bazzle again reached into the trunk and produced a box containing two small glass
spheres. "Use these as the golem's eyes. The Crystals of Bernard will glow when
the golem awakes."
Handing Cerno a small bowl containing a block of incense, Bazzle continued,
"During the awakening ceremony, you must burn incense in this bowl, which was
used by the Mystics of the great king Rama. It is known as the Bowl o' Rama."
"When the time comes to cast the spell, spin around 3 times, wiggle your nose,
(you can use your finger if need be), aim your wand at the golem, and say 'Hairou
Hairee! Kallou Kallee! Hairee Hairou! Kallee Kallou!'"
"Now if you'll excuse us, we really must be on our way. Good luck to you!"
Cerno felt overwhelmed, holding the bowl and the wand, and wearing all the
strange garments, but Clem took ahold of his hand and led him in the direction of
the gates. He said "The first thing we need to do is get you out of these Mystic
artifacts so we can start walking back home, and then figure out what we are
going to say to your mum. Usually honesty is the best policy, but in this
case..."
As they made their way back to the Brambleberry Inn, Cerno asked "Clem, did
Grandpa Bobble ever talk about Akbar, or Collins, or any of the other Mystics
whose artifacts we have?"
"No sir, ol' Bobble didn't talk much about other Mystics, 'cept of course his
master, Marx. Bobble told me once that his master never said a word... not a
single word. It was the Mystic Marx who... who..."
"Who what?"
"... who gave ol' Bobble the Starbuck Harp. And then Journeyman Bobble gave it
to me just before he left..."
"Oh Clem, I didn't know! I'm sorry about trading away the harp, but this is my
chance to become a real Mystic. After I animate the golem, I will be famous, and
people will come from all over the Ascendency to see it. We will have so much
money, I will buy you a gold covered harp! Nobody will ever call the golem
Bobble's Folly again!"
"No worries sir, I never deserved such a fine instrument anyway." Clem said with
a sad smile.
Cerno spent the remainder of the trip quietly practicing the spell over and over
in his head.
When they returned to the Brambleberry Inn, evening had just fallen. The
travelers knew that dinner would be in full swing and that they would be able to
sneak into the basement unnoticed. They had both agreed that Cerno's parents
could hardly understand what a great bargain Cerno had made by trading an old
mule and some food for such powerful mystic items, so they had decided to try to
animate the golem the very first thing. Slipping in the back door was easy, but
getting 2 empty Halfling stomaches past a kitchen full of roasting game hens was
another matter.
After swiping a few biscuits and some juicy slices of hen from the kitchen, the
two halflings slipped into the basement. In the gloom, Cerno followed Clem past
the locked door of the workroom to a small storage room where Clem crawled inside
a cabinet and opened a tiny door at the back which opened onto a crawl space that
lead into the back of the workroom.
"Now then, Master Cerno, I am far too healthy to fit through such a small
opening. You'll have to continue alone, but I'll stay right here, fear not."
Once inside, Cerno nervously lit a candle. A young lifetime spent in a small
hamlet could not prepare him for what his eyes could see by the light of a lone
flame.
Grimy jars with unrecognizable contents lined the shelves. Cerno couldn't bring
himself to examine them too closely. Dusty books stacked everywhere, with small
statues of creatures that could have been gods or demons. And in the corner,
sitting on an old splintered chest, was the grotesque form of the golem.
Cerno was so startled that he dropped the candle and it went went out. For a
long moment he was paralyzed with fear, both wanting and not wanting to relight
the candle. From the distance he heard Clem's soft voice say "Master. Master
Cerno, are you all right?"
Reassured, he bent down and relit the candle. "I'm fine. I'm fine." Cerno
whispered as he approached the golem. Standing, it would have been the height of
two Halflings. The left arm, which was made of a few planks of wood with a rope
running down the middle, was detached and laying across its lap. The elbow joint
seemed to be made of some sort of ceramic, but had cracked in two pieces. The
golem's great chest was covered by a tattered tunic, and underneath Cerno could
see a tangle of gears and ropes. The great head was sitting next to the body on
a table. It appeared to have been fashioned out of clay, and although faded,
clearly it had once been brightly painted. Cerno examined the golem's dark eyes,
and noticed they were sockets. He opened the pack of items he had received from
Bazzle and pulled out the Crystals of Bernard and gently set them in the eye
sockets.
With renewed confidence, Cerno placed the Bowl o' Rama on the table next to the
head, lit the incense, and blew out the candle. The sweet scent calmed his
shaking nerves. He silently slipped on the Seer's Poncho, the Boots of Collins,
the Fez of Akbar, (pushing it back over his eyes), and grabbed the Wand of
Sagnuesen. Closing his eyes, he spun around 3 times, put his finger on his nose,
and wiggled it. Pointing the wand at the golem, and with all sincerity, Cerno
cried out "Hairou Hairee! Kallou Kallee! Hairee Hairou! Kallee Kallou!"
Slowly opening his eyes, he saw the still dark crystals and the unmoving golem.
Epilogue:
Throughout the ensuing months, (filled with nothing but oatmeal for breakfast and
lunch as punishment for trading away the mule), Cerno spent long sessions
tinkering around with the golem in secret, and trying the spell again and again
with many variations. Gradually he gave up the idea of ever seeing the creature
move under its own power, and had even started to form doubts about whether the
artifacts were real or nothing but old discarded theater costumes.
One morning, Clem awoke to find a package on his doorstep. He unwrapped it and
to his great surprise found the old Starbuck Harp. The strings sounded sweeter
than he could ever remember. Upon closer inspection, he noticed a very small
Sylvan character carved on the front of the harp.
Also in the box was a note which read "My dear Clem Strongtoe. I like to think
my barters are fair, but no lesson could I teach that would be worthy of such a
fine instrument. While on my travels, I took the liberty of having some friends
of mine retune the harp. I think you will be well pleased with the results.
Regards, BB."